As I write this, there is snow outside in Washington DC – a surprise foot of snow, in fact! – and my weekend plans were canceled. I came inside from shoveling and laid in front of my fireplace on the furry white throw rug. (Don’t worry, it’s fake fur!) The warmth of the fire lulled me to sleep and as I slept I had the weirdest dream which I had to tell you about.
I was on a bus and the bus was filled with pregnant women. The women were sitting 2 across in the seats and every seat on the bus was filled. I turned to the woman next to me and asked if she knew where the bus was going but she couldn’t hear me. I asked the woman behind me. She couldn’t hear me either. And then I started to panic.
None of the women could hear me and I had no idea where we were going!
I walked up to the front of the bus to ask the driver and as I did we went over a big pothole and I fell. As I fell my hand and my knee ended up knocked into a woman’s baby bump. I was terrified I’d hurt the baby. She didn’t even seem to notice.
I asked the driver where we were going and he said, “We are just driving around. I’ll drop you off right back where I picked you up in a couple of hours.”
In my dream this answer satisfied me and I walked back to my seat. But when I came back the pregnant girl was gone and in her place was a huge spider. A very fat, almost pregnant looking spider.
I screamed at the site of it and almost immediately jerked awake.
I think it was Jung that said you are everyone in your dreams.. I’m the pregnant ladies, the jostled belly, the driver and the spider… But in this dream, I think, are you. Pregnant with creation but driving around and not too fussed about it.
I looked up the meaning of the spider… “The spider is a remarkable figure of feminine energy … By affinity with the spider spirit animal, you may have qualities of high receptivity and creativity.” (http://www.spiritanimal.info)
I kept thinking about this: most people die pregnant with their books. They never create the space for their inner author to shine. It weighs on me. These lost babies… Their voices will never be heard. Their message never delivered. Was there something I could have done?
I’m not writing you with an offer – just some tough love.
If you want to bring this baby into the world you have to get off the bus. You have to make a decision to deliver the baby. No one can do that for you. I can’t want your book in the world more than you do. You have to want to give birth to yourself as an author more than anyone else in the world.
If you do, reach out. I know there is a part of you that’s scared. That’s the case with all of the authors who make the leap to work with me. But that’s also why our company is called The Author Incubator.
This isn’t about hiring an editor or a cover designer or paying a publishing company, our program is about nurturing you AND your book from start to finish. We are incubating the dream with you and we are here to support the practical, logistical, and emotional needs you have through the process.
I know if you haven’t reached out that probably means you aren’t ready and that’s okay. You can choose to stay where you are even if that’s pregnant on the bus. I think that’s what my dream was about really. The spider next to me. The unsettling feeling of it all. I have to be okay with people choosing not to have their babies.
My dream woke me up to say, I’m thinking about you. And wherever you are, I know you are getting exactly what you want.
What do you think my dream means? Comment or reply!