A couple months ago I made a decision to only keep things in my house that I love.
“Love it or lose it,” as my coach, Tami, says.
And since making that decision I have thrown out – easily 60% of the contents of my house.
My bedroom furniture was adequate, functional, mostly not broken. No NEED to replace it, but I didn’t love it. GONE.
My office furniture was made of that formica/melamine kinda stuff and kept snagging my sweaters, but it was otherwise a perfectly good desk and it was expensive when I bought it. I’m not going to throw out a perfectly good desk…
Oh wait – yes I am. BU-BYE.
That adorable water bottle I got from Meadow Devor at the Martha Beck Summit… the one with the broken straw that makes me remember how my kid broke it the day I got it. TE-RASHED.
I have analyzed every single thing I own and if I couldn’t look at it and say “I FUCKING LOVE THIS!” it went out the door.
I challenge you to look at every single item you own and just decide, without taking any action, does it go on the Excellent list or the Adequate list.
Living in a world of total excellence has completely changed the game for me. It’s changed how I feel when I wake up. It’s changed my energy and focus level at home. It’s changed WHO I want to spend time with. This relatively simple switch has been a huge realignment for me.
But, today there was a wrench thrown in the works of this love fest. I got dressed and I put on this adorable denim dress, white leggings and cowboy boots. All items I declared I loved under scrutiny, but this morning, I didn’t love any of it. The dress is a little too loose on top and a little too tight on the bottom. The pants highlight the cellulite on my thighs in a way that creates a dramatic “Rice Pudding Leg” effect. And even my cute cowboy boots look too short and, I don’t know, baggy or something.
I did not love it.
So what to do?
(We are going on a journey here so hang with me…)
I could have changed, left it balled up inside out on my floor, thrown it out… but I didn’t. I CHOOSE to wear this outfit and absolutely love it.
I CHOOSE to love it.
I added a hat and a belt and decided today will be the last day I wear these clothes and I’m going to ROCK THE FUCK out of this outfit. And then it’s going straight into the donation pile.
I’m not going to be ambivalent about it. I’m not going to keep a conversation going in the back of my head about whether I should change before the house party I’m going to tonight. I’m not passing by mirrors with a harsh critique of my bumpy leg or my spare tire.
Nope. I am tarting it up!
I am finding everything that is PERFECT about this outfit and wearing it as it if were my favorite thing in my closet.
This is the power of being AT CHOICE in your life.
When you CHOOSE your circumstance, it’s got this INCREDIBLE effect. It empowers you to choose something else. Ambivalence is an energy drain. A force-suckage machine. A weakening agent.
I tell my writers all the time to CHOOSE writer’s block when it comes.
You can’t write right now?
Awesome, CHOOSE that!
You can’t pick a topic for your next book?
Fantastic, CHOOSE that!
You have pages due to your editor tomorrow but you’d rather watch Scandal? Choose…
Don’t watch Scandal while beating yourself up for not writing.
Choose to miss your deadline and enjoy the hell out of Liv and Fitz’ antics.
Choose to skip Scandal and really write.
You GET what you choose. (But only every time, as Byron Katie might say)
Choose ambivalence – it’s coming your way.
Not sure what to write about? Keep posting about it in your journal and posting about your next idea on Facebook. Enjoy the roller coaster of “YAY, I HAVE A GREAT IDEA” and “BOO, WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME I SHOULD BE DOING SOMETHING WITH IT.” You will totally find people to engage with that cycle of madness. You can do that for-effing-ever.
But when you choose – even a “bad” circumstance like an unflattering outfit or an unwritten book idea, you stand in your DIVINE power. And when you do that – and ONLY when you do that – do you have the power to change your circumstance.
How many times have you been torn between where you were and where you wanted to be or thought you wanted to be?
How do you act when you are betwixt and between?
What is the impact you leave on others when you are in that place?
Would you like the outcome to be different next time?
Now you can…CHOOSE!!
You, my sweet love, are not a victim. You get to be right where you are BY CHOICE!
And only when you are there by choice can you choose something else. The land of indecision is for lazy people and losers and that is SO not who you are.
P.S. Just a little FYI – there are only 2 slots left for my next round of Your Delicious Book. Starts Oct. 28. If you want to know more, or to have a strategy session to see if you are a fit, simply hit reply and we’ll set something up.