THE DARK SIDE OF NICE (A VERY LONG RANT WHICH INCLUDES ME CHALLENGING MARIE FORLEO TO A BURR-HAMILTON STYLE DUEL AND MAY MAKE YOU UNFRIEND ME)
“Mandy” over in the B-School Community has a problem with me. And I know… I know she is just doing her job – so this post isn’t really about Mandy but her boss… Marie Forleo…. More on my beef with her in a minute…
Now, I don’t know about Mandy – but I’ve got a planet to save. I have a life to create for my family… a legacy to build… and an entire industry to overturn…
And as a wise-man once said, I am NOT throwing away my shot.
I guess to Mandy and frankly, maybe you, “kindness”… or “civility”… or just generally being nice and making people feel good ranks higher than saving the planet. And I get that – I do – but I politely disagree.
What I see all this niceness leading to is something very MOTHER FUCKING treacherous. All this “kindness” and “making people feel good” – you know what it leads to…. WASTED FUCKING YEARS OF TRYING TO MAKE YOUR BUSINESS WORK AND NOT KNOWING WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE DOING WRONG!
You see Mandy is a hall monitor over in the B-School group that I’m a member of. I joined B-School for one reason and one reason only. I’d been talking trash about it for years and decided it wasn’t cool since I hadn’t every done it. It was like not voting and complaining about the president.
So I bought B-School to see if there really was something to complain about…. I will say I think the name is fitting. Most people I know who got MBAs don’t know much about business or making money either.
The sheer volume of BUSY-WORK designed to make you FEEL like you were creating a business when really you were just creating a revenue stream for a bunch of affiliate partners was astonishing.
But the real problem with B-School – which apparently they actually pay Mandy to bring into reality – is that it’s a community of people who know NOTHING about business giving each other TERRIBLE advice all day long – and what’s worse than the advice are the questions themselves.
**Which of these 65 head shots that I spent $1,000 on should I use for the website I spent $5,000 on that no one goes to?**
This is NOT a legitimate question.
If you really wanted these people (YOUR CLIENTS) to be successful and not to MILK them for every fucking dime they don’t even have, you would NOT create a group where they will get bad advice about what kinds of questions to ask and what kinds of answers to listen to.
You get what you pay for I guess but I can assure you, even when she was just starting out, Marie Forleo was not asking remedial questions to a group of people who knew less than her. I bet you anything she was learning how to ask sophisticated questions by hanging out frequently with people ahead of her in business.
I am DONE with programs that promise results and then employ calculated strategies to keep their buyers from achieving those results – and worse, they actually set them up to buy more.
******Most programs I see are designed and priced to guarantee failure – the solution to which is to spend more. ******
I was moved this morning because I think that hands down most inane question I ever heard was asked….
**“How important is it to have a great name for your newsletter? Kris Carr’s newsletter has an awesome name!”**
Below the question was a host of musings on great and poor newsletter names. And I’m just thinking WOW! No wonder these people aren’t making a difference. But what’s more, these are good people, with great families and important messages that need to get out into the world. These are people who are doing their best to do right by their families and future clients – but they are failing – and it doesn’t matter if you do your best and fail or you half ass it and fail. A fail is a fail and if you aren’t making money to support your family and create a legacy you can be proud of you are failing – whether you are trying or not.
And so I told her – Emma, I said –
“I know we are supposed to be nice and supportive in here but questions like this make me want to scream. You have important work to do on this planet. You have people who need your help who are SUFFERING. Your family needs you to make a contribution financially. And instead of closing a sale and making a difference you are wondering about naming your newsletter?
Make something that solves a problem and sell it.
Until you are at your revenue goal not only does NOTHING else matter – anything else is a way for you to play small and hide from supporting your family and making the difference you need to make.
Anyone who indulges you in this thinking is enabling you to be less than you can be. I challenge you to delete this thread right now and go sell something without 1 single excuse.
Just asking this question and listening to the answers is moving you away from your goal.”
Emma was annoyed – but Mandy – Mandy was on a mission to save the planet from people like me.
You see these leaders who have these 7 and 8 figure launches… they are paying the innocent “Mandy”’s of the world to make sure no one let’s the prisoner’s out of the cage. And we call that kindness. Here’s what Mandy had to say just after pulling down my post:
I hope this email finds you well. I’m writing today about your recent comment in the B-Schoolers Facebook group. The comment (screenshot attached) was in response to another student’s question about naming business newsletters.
We strive to make the Facebook group a supportive and kind place, so your comment was deleted as we felt it did not contribute to that atmosphere. As a reminder, the Community House Rules state:
Be kind. We have a zero tolerance policy for negativity, bullying, drama, gossip, or toxic energy. Encourage and support your fellow B-Schoolers. Never make anyone feel unwelcome or judged; treat everyone with love and acceptance. If you disagree or have an opposing viewpoint to share, do it with respect, honor and from a place of compassion.
Spirited debate about ideas or concepts is awesome, personal attacks are not. If you can’t be kind, be quiet. Violation of this rule is grounds for immediate and permanent removal from the community without a refund.
As a general guideline in this community (and frankly everywhere!) always remember the T.H.I.N.K. policy before you post. Ask yourself:
Is this True?
Is this Helpful?
Is this Inspiring?
Is this Necessary?
Is this Kind?
We’re sure your intent to was to be helpful, so we wanted to reach out and make sure the group guidelines are super clear as repeated violations of the rules could result in removal from the group.
If you have any questions about what is and isn’t okay to post, you’re welcome to write to us here to run it by us first.
All the best,
So I get it “If you can’t be kind, be quiet.” That’s a value for SURE – but it’s not the value I’d want for my group of 13,000 mostly struggling hobbyists….
Here’s where my Alexander Hamilton kicks in
“Your grievance is legitimate
I stand by what I said, every bit of it
You stand only for yourself
It’s what you do
I can’t apologize because it’s true”
If you know Marie – tell her I’m ready for a Burr-Hamilton style duel.
Stand Marie. Weehawken. Dawn. Guns. Drawn.
You can reach “Mandy” at [email protected] and let her know what you think…. I’ll let Marie pick the date… ya know, if she asks.