Book Journeys Author Interview – Feb. 9, 2017
Jenn McRobbie with Kayla Berg, author of Frazzled to Free: The Soulful Momma’s Guide to Finding Meaningful Work.
”[Writing] doesn’t have to be easy, but it can feel good.” ~Kayla Berg
Jenn:
Well, hello, everybody! It is February 9th, 2017 and I am calling from the Author Castle today, … we have another book launch, where we launched eleven more books into the world. So, I’m so excited to introduce you to today’s author. As you know, on Book Journeys Radio, we speak to accomplished authors who’ve gone from having an idea for a book to a finished book and who are out making a difference in the world, and today’s author, Kayla Berg, not only went through a personal transformation while writing her book, but she’s now bringing that transformation to women all over the world. So, her name is Kayla Berg, she’s a career life coach, her book is titled Frazzled to Free: The Soulful Momma’s Guide to Finding Meaningful Work. Welcome, Kayla!
Kayla:
Hello! Thank you for having me, this is wonderful!
Jenn:
Aw, I’m so happy to have you on the show, especially because, as you know, or as you might recall, red carpet launch dates can be … frazzling, right?
Kayla:
Oh, yes! I remember mine very well!
Jenn:
So – so, can you explain to the listeners how, if they’re caught up, still, in the excitement from watching the launch live, how – what is Frazzled to Free and who are your people, who – who is Frazzled to Free written for?
Kayla:
Frazzled to Free is written for moms who are – are reopening their careers after having kids, … something that they did before that’s just not working for them for a variety of reasons, whether it’s the expensive child care or people working in something school-crushing beforehand, and they find that they now have far less time to themselves to recharge and regenerate after that kind of work, so they want something … and amongst others, there’s a whole bunch of other – other reasons why, … for other work but for the most part, they’re – they’re moms, they’ve outgrown their careers and they’re looking for something different.
Jenn:
How do you bring something different into your life that’s already so full, though? Wouldn’t you have a family and … you’re caring for all the people in your family and … you might be working or maybe you left your job. How do you create change in an environment that feels like it’s so repetitive at times?
Kayla:
Very, very carefully and deliberately. Sometimes slowly …. It has to be the right thing, and I found that when I was looking – when I was in that situation and I was looking for something different and new that would – that would help support the vision I had for my life with family, that a lot of the information out there … just screams ideas at you.
Jenn:
Right!
Kayla:
There’s not a lot of – really … getting to know what you – what your gifts are, what you’re good at, what you want to do. When you’re in that space of having ideas thrown at you all the time, it’s really hard to get still, it’s really hard to figure out what it is that you want to be doing in this world that’s right for you, and so –
Jenn:
Right.
Kayla:
– there’s adding the elements of very careful, very slow, very deliberate speaking and looking and meeting your soul and figuring out who it is that you are, now that you’re a mom, that often changes, and …-
Jenn:
Yes.
Kayla:
– that you want in this world? So, yeah, that’s … what it’s about, … how you do it, ….
Jenn:
Even though – … yeah, even listening to you explain it, Kayla, it’s … making me feel more calm, I love that. … you have a handle on it. But how did you come to this idea – … other than just through your personal experience – … have you coached other people through this process, are you in the process of – of building a practice, … what’s happening, now that you’ve discovered this key to finding … meaningful work?
Kayla:
I do, I do coach. I have a program where we work through, Fully Fording Through the Noise. I work with moms … for that – that extra piece to the puzzle that’s not out there when you Google things like “jobs for moms” or – or whatever the … Google that – yeah, there is – I do have a coaching practice.
Jenn:
Aw, great. … I – when you said Googling “jobs for moms,” … my husband can tell you that – I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been sitting in the movie theater, which is actually not very often, but you know how they always play the … weird credits beforehand, … the dancing cups and the … French fries, where they’re trying to get you to buy stuff, … the theater that we go to, one of the things that they talk about is jobs and how they’re always hiring, and they always say, “It’s a great job for moms,” and it incenses me, everytime …. Because I think – … is there something particular about moms that … great in a movie theater, … I don’t understand, and it just makes me think of what you’re saying about how people are always shouting ideas and … plans and things that they think are good for you, but how do you go about – yeah, how do you go about helping someone find out what – finding out for themself, what is good for them?
Kayla:
Oh, you meet their souls. We go deep – we go deep. We dig down to find out what’s – what’s really into there, … what are the gifts that they have and what they like. My goodness, I have a – a whole list, a whole section on – on what they – what they love and another, probably even bigger lesson, what they don’t love, … that’s another big clue, what don’t you love? … what do you – what drives you crazy, what are you wanting to get away from? And it’s … that intersection of what your soul wants for you and what you so don’t want in this world, and what you so do want in this world, and it ….
Jenn:
That – that makes so much sense, because sometimes – I – I have two kids, and they’re ten and almost seven now, and I feel … there are not very many times in my life, since I became a mother, where someone asked me what I wanted.
Kayla:
Yes. Oh, my goodness, that’s another piece of the puzzle, is learning how to put yourself on – if not the front burner with your family – ahead of your family, at least not on the same line, where your needs are just as important as everybody else’s.
Jenn:
Right!
Kayla:
… to discover what – what is it that I want? … I’m caring for this family, I’ve got all of the obligations and all the extra work that moms seem to take on that no one really talks about, like the – buying the birthday gifts, the organizing who gets to go to the dentist when, the –
Jenn:
Right!
Kayla:
– … almost seamless … pieces that – that moms and – and a lot of women take on to really figure out what it is that – they have that piece, they have those extra pieces, so when you are figuring out how to get yourself at least on the same thin line as the rest of your family, that takes a little bit of deliberate action and – and keratin, and … as well.
Jenn:
… that phrase, “deliberate action,” that – that sits very solidly with me, it makes so much sense. But – but speaking about all of the … very things you have in your life and that are going on in your life, how did you come to wanting to write a book about this process?
Kayla:
… I actually followed my soul into you becoming an author.
Jenn:
Aww, yay! ….
Kayla
… – I know! It’s … following my own medicine, it’s amazing. But – Angela, it’s part of the post about offering a program to write a book, and I’ve been following her … here and there, … I knew who he was and – and she says … –
Jenn:
Right.
Kayla:
– you’ve got – … here, I’m doing this thing, … apply and – and … even if you don’t have a book idea, completely follow it, then do it anyway, and so I did. I was … “Oh! That sounds intriguing,” so ….
Jenn:
I love that.
Kayla:
And in the process of doing that, I met the deep, dormant part of me that – the part of me that, even – when I was eight years old, I would set out a … – go to write a novel, and of course … years old, there’s no discipline, I know I actually wasn’t gonna write a novel. But … the piece of me that had gotten so long buried that I’d forgotten about it, but even if following that nudge to apply it to write that book woke it up and next thing I know, here I am, talking to you as a – as a book written and another one that I want to write and ….
Jenn:
Oh, that’s so good! What’s the next book on, then? You have to tell us, is it gonna be another nonfiction or is it fiction? What are you planning?
Kayla:
Planning another nonfiction first, and then a fiction one, …. The nonfiction one’s gonna be a – another deep dive into the soul and – not too sure what it’ll focus on yet. Relationships, maybe? There’s a lot of sticky things with relationships that … involved as well.
Jenn:
Yes. Yes, relationship – … really, your life is so full of relationships and when you’re a mom, it’s almost … you can’t separate yourself from the relationships.
Kayla:
No! No, you cannot ….
Jenn:
Right?
Kayla:
Relationships get complicated, marriage gets a little bit more complicated, you’ve got the demands of little ones taking so much of your time.
Jenn:
Yes, that’s – definitely sounds like something that needs some deep soul diving, I love that.
Kayla:
Mm-hmm!
Jenn:
So, we know why you picked the topic, and we know that you’ve followed your soul to writing the book, but did you find it hard to actually sit down and write? Or was it easy because you had … followed all the clues here?
Kayla:
It was both. It was hard, in that there’s – in order to become a person who writes a book, you’ve gotta – you’ve gotta change, you’ve gotta figure some things out, … there was the challenges of … the kids needing things, and six kids and – oh, I can’t even remember all of the things that happened. We were trying to move at the time and … trying to come through our house, and – … all of that stuff, so that’s – that’s always hard, is – is, for me, with the … under that – that time. But what was easy was when I actually sat down to – to do it, with the process that – that Angela has, and it was – it was easy, … looking back on it, … there was hard parts, that … – it was easy to go from – from that to here. …
Jenn:
Wow, I love hearing that. Yeah … actually pleases me to know and – that it – that it ended up feeling easy, it feels so – … – my goodness. It felt like something that you were gonna do, and you did!
Kayla:
Yeah! Yeah, … – yeah. … I was going to do it, I was always going to write a book and this – this process made it so much easier and faster and –
Jenn:
Great.
Kayla:
Yes. All ….
Jenn:
Did you have any times – did you have any times, though, where you experienced writer’s block, where you … sat down and … – you’re thinking, “There’s no way I’m gonna get anything on the page today.”
Kayla:
Oh, yes. … I have a …, so … –
Jenn:
Oh, boy!
Kayla:
… birth, so – so there were times where I’d be coming to my – my computer at my desk and I would have three and a half hours of sleep under my belt and I would be … “Nope, I’m writing,” and then feel … “Nope! Nope, I’m not! It’s not happening today.”
Jenn:
So, how do you deal with – because … that’s … stressful – stressful, when you’re – … – our program is pretty directive, in that you have very little free time, … you’re always doing … the next step of your book, how do you deal with the stress of – of life intervening?
Kayla:
Self-care.
Jenn
Self-care.
Kayla:
Realizing that it’s not – if it’s not coming, if it’s not easy, … writer’s block or there’s three hours of sleep, that maybe the four-hour chunk I carved off to … write or edit or whatever it is that I had to do, maybe two hours of that needed to be sleep. Or even just making myself a salad and my kids don’t eat lettuce or greens that way, so for me to have salad is, I guess, … a treat, …, sit down and … – and so, yeah, … just – just sitting down and very deliberately choosing how my – how my time would go and what would best serve me and what I really needed in that moment to get it done, and sometimes it was to take a nap.
Jenn:
Right. I think we so often don’t give ourselves permission to do those things, though, and we – we just try to white-knuckle our way through it, particularly with a book, you think, “Oh, well, I have all this knowledge in my head, I’m just gonna bang it out.” But what you’re saying is, if it feels hard, then maybe you take a break from it.
Kayla:
Absolutely, … I went shopping a coupla times, right?
Jenn:
Oooh! Nice!
Kayla:
Yo, … – yes! And .. I don’t get to shop either, or that often, so – kid-free, without little hands grabbing, so … it was myself shopping for an hour and look at pretty things and then come back and – … it doesn’t have to be a white-knuckle, force yourself to get through this experience, it can feel – it can feel good while you’re doing it. … it doesn’t have to be easy, but it can feel good.
Jenn:
Right, right. And that – and … I would imagine that that would play right into the processes you used to help a mom find this … – what’s calling to their soul, if you can really tell when – when you’re not fully invested in something.
Kayla:
Yup! Yup, ….
Jenn:
And then – yeah, and then, what that means, … does that mean you need to move on away from it completely or does it mean that you can take a shopping break and come back to the book, right?
Kayla:
Mm-hm! Yeah, exactly.
Jenn:
Well, what is the best thing that’s come out of having your own book?
Kayla:
I think that, for me, the best thing to come out of my book is the opportunity it gives me to reach my audience, to reach these moms. … easier way. There’s a lot – a lot bigger reach when you have a book, there’s – there’s something that you can present to them that’s desirable, that’s – gets their attention, and says, “Oh, wait a minute! Maybe there is something else. Maybe there ….”
Jenn:
Right.
Kayla:
And there’s something about the magic of having a – written a book, as being an authority on something, … present to them, “Look what I sat down and wrote for you, and in your limited free time, ten minutes at a time, you can read this, and – and figure out a process for yourself as well.”
Jenn:
I think what you just said is the real key – and particularly the key for – for our authors, I think Angela really tries to impress this upon them, is that you wrote your book for these moms. You didn’t write it – … yes, a little bit is – is for your own – … your own self, in order to feel your soul, maybe even for ego, a little bit, but really, this book is for moms, and I wonder if committing yourself to that level of service, does it change who you are, after you write a book? Or are you the same Kayla who – who signed up with this program?
Kayla:
Oh, gosh, no. I am so different. It’s – it’s staggering, … there’s so few times in your life when you can look back and go, “Okay, well, that was the moment where things changed,” and I became …. And one of them is when you become a mother, so when you’re staring at that little stick or whether you’re actually holding the baby in your arms, whatever happens for you, but there is that moment – there is a clear line between … non-mother and … having children. And the same thing with this book was, there is a clear line between old Kayla … and new Kayla. It’s changed me, and all through my life, too, … ripple effects, I’m a lot more confident,a lot more clear, a lot more able to – to do what I want and to figure out how I’m gonna go and get it.
Jenn:
I love that! I love that it’s had all of these effects on other areas of your life, … people think that … you write a book and you publish it, and then, um, … what do you do? You go back to regular life. But you’re saying that was not the case for you.
Kayla:
Oh, goodness, no. No, no, no. I – I kinda wish, sometimes, it was a lot easier, back then.
Jenn:
Yeah!
Kayla:
But … that – but now that I – I have the book, and I’m this new person and I’m stepping into this role and – of – of helping moms to do the same things in their own lives. I’m – I’m noticing that it’s rippled out into all areas of my life and – yeah, there’s such a big – big shift, a big change, and – a big transition, it was a big transition.
Jenn:
Did you expect that to happen, or it – has it come as a surprise?
Kayla:
It was a little bit shocking. I thought that I was … with the book.
Jenn:
Yeah.
Kayla:
But instead, at the end, I would … promote it, and it would be … – that would be the end of it, … to have this book, and –
Jenn:
Right!
Kayla:
I – I’d be the same person just having had written a book, I didn’t realize that – although … with the … piece as well, that – when I came at that part of myself, … that was part of the transformation as well, I was always meant to be a writer and an author, and I’d been ignoring that for so long. So … – whole transformation, and it’s crazy and awesome and cool, all at the same time.
Jenn:
Yeah, … I can – I can remember – and – and Angela says this, … a lot of the red carpet launch is … behind the closed doors that … a lot of our listeners don’t get to see, but she says to everyone, “You’re now an author, and no one can ever take that away from you.” And it has such a profound impact to have someone say to you that – … you’re an author now. And … that’s part of your byline, right?
Kayla:
Yes! Yes, it shifted so much to – also, it’s begin an authority, it’s – it’s being an expert in a subject, on a topic, and the clarity and confidence it gives you, to even just have that … – that author – that author title, oh, my goodness. It’s … my ego loves it, my soul loves it, ….
Jenn:
Right? … Everything loves it, right? ….
Kayla:
Yup.
Jenn:
It’s basically a party for your brain, right? And your heart.
Kayla:
Oh – oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, my goodness, the – the launch … – was incredible, just – just going from having the book go live on Amazon and – and being in that space with everybody who also had written a book, it was an incredible experience. Pro – it was probably in my … top ten … days of my life.
Jenn:
Oh, yay, I’m gonna pass that along to Angela, it’s gonna make her cry. That’s – … the goal of – of these red carpet launches is really – a – and I say this to you, Kayla, but also to any of our listeners, that … there’s a lot of production that goes behind these things, and so … it’s just like marketing, or whatever, but it’s not. It’s about truly taking that moment where you can step into being – you are now Kayla Berg, the author, and if you didn’t believe it before that red carpet moment, I bet you believed it right at that moment, when you were standing there with the lights flashing, right?
Kayla:
Oh, yes. Yeah. It was – it was probably one of the most fun days.
Jenn:
Oh, so great.
Kayla:
Definitely. Definitely … fun days, standing there and ….
Jenn:
I love it.
Kayla:
That whole experience.
Jenn:
That’s wonderful. Well, Kayla, if there’s another mom or … another person listening to us right now that’s speaking to themselves, “You know, maybe – maybe my soul is calling me to be an author or a writer.” What kind of advice can you give them to – to help them tap into that? Where – where do they start?
Kayla:
If they have any … inkling or thoughts or excitement – I think it’s a tingle, there’s … a tingle involved, … a tiny tingle of excitement. And if – if they’re experiencing that at all, right now, … just go and do it, … there’s no doubt to this, as far as I could tell. … go down that – go down that road, … explore it, it’s an adventure, it’s … one of the best adventures.
Jenn:
I love that. … if you feel like you’re lacking adventure in your life, then go ahead, write a book, it’ll change your life, right?
Kayla:
Oh, yes, definitely! It is life-changing, and … it’s also – it’s also with – … it’s hard, sitting down, writing, but at the end of the day, when you’re done, oh, my goodness, it’s amazing! Absolutely.
Jenn:
Yeah. The level of the reward, i – it far outweighs the – the work that you put into it, right?
Kayla:
Oh, yes, definitely. I think I cried when I hit … on that manuscript, I was … “Oh, my God, look what I’ve done!”
Jenn:
Well, actually – and that’s something – it’s something to – to talk about, so … if someone’s listening and they’re – they think … they feel that tingle, they think they wanna write a book, but – but fear is stopping them, how do you overcome that? … I think it’s easy for us now, as authors, to … just follow it, just go with the flow, but how do you overcome that fear before you become Kayla as author?
Kayla:
You don’t. ….
Jenn:
Oh! Good answer.
Kayla:
It doesn’t go away, … that fear is not gonna go anywhere. It – it’s almost … your companion in a car with you, if you go on your adventure. Fear’s gonna be there, pointing out things all along the way, and the thing that shifted for me was when I’d made friends with it, and was asking it questions, … – I can’t remember all the questions, or all of the things that fear was telling me back then – … I would ask questions, … what – what is it that it’s actually trying to tell me and what’s it trying to keep me safe from? And to acknowledge that … fear is the enemy, fear is trying to give you a message, and if you can make friends with it and acknowledge what that message is, then you can move forward together, … holding hands with your buddy fear, as you go and do it anyway.
Jenn:
No, and … that’s such a brilliant – I love the way you phrased that, Kayla, because it’s such a good visual of walking hand in hand into anything in your life, not just writing a book but anything that you’re feeling called to do, you’re going to have to do that hand in hand with your buddy fear, right?
Kayla:
Yes, … it doesn’t go anywhere, it stays with you, it doesn’t matter how far along you get, fear is always gonna be there. You might ….
Jenn:
Mu – right! And might as well start now, instead of always running from it, when you know it’s always gonna be there. It’s … like your shadow, right?
Kayla:
It is, like a shadow friend.
Jenn:
Exactly, your shadow friend. Well, Kayla, I’m super sad to say that we are … nearing the end of our time, I’ve had so much fun talking to you.
Kayla:
Yeah, this has been fun for me, too!
Jenn:
Oh, good, I’m so glad. And – and I want other people who are listening – so, if you are a soulful momma who’s looking to find meaningful work, how can they find you?
Kayla:
They can find me at www.kaylaberg.com. They can find me on Facebook, they can search for me on Facebook, Kayla Berg, and yes, … e-mail to [email protected].
Jenn:
Aw, perfect, and please, go on to Amazon, if you haven’t already, and search Frazzled to Free, and download Kayla’s book now, because it sounds like there are so many tidbits of wisdom in there, whether you are a mom or not. So, if there’s a mom in your life you think you need to … give this to, you can buy it and read it yourself before you give it to her, and no one even have to know that you’re not a mom and reading this. So, go on to Amazon, Frazzled to Free, Kayla Berg, Kayla, thanks again, it’s been such a pleasure.
Kayla:
Thank you for having me! It’s been a lot of fun talking with you all.
Jenn:
Great. And join me next week, when we have another episode of Book Journeys Radio.