Book Journeys Author Interview – May 19, 2016
Dr. Angela Lauria with Candice Ragland, author of Invisible Dad
I really need it to have a story and really have that connection with the readers. ~Candice Ragland
Angela:
Well hey everybody. We are back at Book Journeys Radio with an exciting show for you today. Uhm, but, as exciting as the show is, I’m gonna have to give you all a heads up. We may have some sound problems, uh, hoping we will be able to reign those in so bear with us if you have trouble with any of the transmission. We are gonna talk today, as we do every week, with an author who has – who has crossed over from being someone who had wanted to write a book to someone who got it done and hopefully from their journey, you can take something with you for your journey so you too can complete your I am joined today by Candice Ragland. She is the author of Invisible Dad. You can check out invisibledadjourney.com to learn more about Candice. Candice, thank you so much for being our guest today!
Candice:
Thank you so much for having me.
Angela:
Awesome! Well, just to get started, let’s tell people about the book. What is Invisible Dad about and who did you write it for?
Candice:
So, my book is definitely about my story growing up as a fatherless daughter and really overcoming that and getting through to the healing process and the healing journey. So, it talks about my story but it gives you the tools, uhm, to get past the finish line. What do you need to do to overcome your past and conquer your future? And so, I was writing specifically for fatherless daughters, but is really… pertains to anyone that is missing a parent or know what missing a parent feels like… or what people go through. Uhm, I’ve had all kinds of people read the book, so it’s been a great tool for people.
Angela:
That’s awesome. Well let’s just start with how the idea came to you. How did you get the idea to write this book. Have you always wanted to write a book, or… How did this show up?
Candice:
…Writing a book never came to my mind. I mean the Lord really led me to write this book. I think out of your pain comes your purpose. And so, with this book – it really talks about my pain, what I had to go through. But through that journey, I had definitely developed my purpose of helping these fatherless daughters, uhm, really conquer the world. And so, that’s how I actually got to write the book. I was led to do so. It wasn’t specifically something I wanted to do for my entire life, but, honestly it has led to more and more avenues and I definitely want to write more books.
Angela:
I love it! That’s awesome! So, uhm, so you kind of had the inspiration to write the book. Did you envision it completed before you started? Did you know how this book would turn out or did it change along the journey?
Candice:
I had no idea in how the book would turn out. Uhm, I knew all I did was finish, but I had no idea what it would be like at the end and honestly, I’ve read my book… lately and I’m like, “Wow! This is awesome.” ‘Cause I was really… Did I really enjoy being in your program – the 3 Days to Done program – because it really caused me to just focus on this project and room to get this project done, and at the end of those three days, that’s what we did.
Angela:
So, while you, uhm, while you were writing the book, was there anything that helped you? A lot of people think that writing a book in three days sounds crazy or impossible. What were some of the things that helped you get through those three days to stay focused and stay committed. Tell me a little bit about your process.
Candice:
Uhm, I was listening to music a lot during when I was writing the book. I think that change in scenery is great. I mean not being – in being in my same scenery all the time, being, you know doing the everyday thing – I think the change of scenery when you… was awesome. And I think being focused in having your outline is critical. It’s really helped me to stay focused on what exact section I was writing, and also the… I would say the flexibility, of being able to write whatever I wanted to write as far as in the aura I wanted to write it in. So, because I wasn’t familiar with writing a book, you know, people… “Oh, you know, you write it from start to finish,” and soon as I was working with you, you said, “You know what? Start with the easiest process first and then you can work it towards the harder ones.” So that’s what I did, which was awesome, because that helped me to really tackle, uhm… in my journey, ’cause I was already there at the start. The only… process… the tools… I already knew what I needed to do to get to where I am. That… the beginning for me… was a little bit harder, but uhm, I think the overall process was awesome, just staying focused and having an outline.
Angela:
I love that. So, uhm, where there any times, either while you were writing a book or, in a couple of weeks after when you were editing it, where there times when you felt like you experienced writer’s block?
Candice:
Oh, yes! [laughs]. I think yes. Going on three days, you definitely experience… I don’t think… It’s not because… You have it all in you. You know, uhm, what needs to be said, it’s just… I think really you over analyze, like I would over analyze it just to make sure that what I said was in the affective and that it was gonna be awesome writing. You know, you have that standard that you wanna meet and that’s what I think kinda challenged me with the whole writer’s block aspect of it.
Angela:
Yeah, and… So let’s talk about this a little bit. Uhm, you have a… Would you call yourself a perfectionist or do you have perfectionist tendencies?
Candice:
Yes, definitely and then the fact that I had never written a book made it even worse because I felt like I was jumping into something – It’s like jumping into a pool and you can’t swim and so you’re like, “Okay, what am I gonna do? Am I gonna drown here or it’s gonna be like, swim baby swim!” But I gotta figure this out. So it was really kinda tough in the beginning to really understand how to – what it takes to write a book and what do you need to do and how do you keep your mind in focus and why is it important not to, you know, zero all these… different things… you know, to really focus on your project and just get it done. And so, yeah, it was definitely challenging – challenging in the beginning, for sure.
Angela:
And so I think one of the, uhm, I think one of the things that holds people back from writing their book is that they want it to be good and we all want our books to be good, right?
Candice:
Yup! Right.
Angela:
And so, in order to… yes to a good book, you have to write a bad first draft, which is so uncomfortable. And the way we do it at 3 Days to Done, I make you write a bad first draft and share it with me so I can read it. So uhm… So how was that for you as someone who, you know, maybe is a little bit of a perfectionist, or certainly really wanted your book to be good. Uhm, how did you think, uh… How important it was getting that bad first draft out to get to this one. How did that unfold for you?
Candice:
I think it was great… from a sense of having immediate direction – it’s awesome, ’cause I wouldn’t have to keep turning my wheels and having, you know, writing all this copy, all this text, and then having to go back and rewrite. I mean that, for me, as a writer is huge… for someone that is… especially a new author that doesn’t really know to set a tone of voice or doesn’t really know to pick out who you’re gonna be, you know, writing for – your exact person, and you know, and… that is definitely something that’s critical to the process for sure. I think after, uhm, after the beginning, it becomes something that you’re definitely already cognizant of, that you’ve already had those directions. So you… I think you’re led… Trust me, you’re gonna make mistakes, or, you know, you’re… but I think that you have, in the back of your mind, where you may not go down a certain direction when you’re writing or whatever the case may be.
Angela:
And while you were at… uh, like this my thing, if it is such a vulnerable process to share such rough drafts and such raw drafts, and the thing for me is thinking, uhm, thinking about this act as – I call it an act of service – being willing to actually write it, even though it’s not awesome, and actually share it even though it’s not awesome and… get it there. I think of it as an act of service for the people you wanna help. So, for you, was there, uhm, an image in your mind of someone who you wanted to be touched by this book that kind of helped to keep you going?
Candice:
Yes, definitely because I was writing, uhm, my story, a role you had to – not only go back to my younger self and say, you know, what did she need? What did she need at that time? And that’s why I’m writing this book, also keeping in mind that what are the… the girls needing at this age? Because it’s kinda different, you know, from what it was when I… not, uhm, that old or anything, but, you know… with different things now and, you know, not having a father is the new norm now and so it’s not really looked upon as a difficult situation, you know, it’s looked on it, you know, keep going, like, you know, everybody has their own problems. And so, I had to definitely write the book from a special perspective, uhm, to really engage with those fatherless daughters, for sure.
Angela:
And were there any, uhm, were there any surprises for you of the actual, like book writing and publishing process – anything that was different than what you expected it to be?
Candice:
Uhm, I wouldn’t say… I got… ’cause my expectations weren’t so… or so high because… I didn’t know what I was willing to… into. Uhm, I… I… people told me and I didn’t understand what they were saying. They… They told me that the writing would be easy – it’s the editing that’s so hard, and I really learned that, like… “Didn’t you… on paper? It’s like the easiest But having things… and moving things around and making sure this… does this flow or this does not flow, or we gotta take that out and, you know, we need… this works here, and… I mean the editing… Editing for me is the most crucial part. It is more gruesome to me than the writing is. I feel like, when you write, you can get your feelings out, you can say what you need to say and put it all on paper. But the… for a perfect book, or a perfect story is… takes more work than it does to write it.
Angela:
Mmm, yeah. Were there moments, uhm, in the process, where you were scared or thought, maybe not publishing it, or wanting to take more time to get it done, and if so, how did you deal with any of those fears?
Candice:
Oh, yes. Definitely [chuckles]. I mean, putting out – because my story is all… I’m vulnerable and it’s my first-hand story, putting out your life into a book, I mean… I ask myself over and over again, “Are you sure you wanna do this?” ‘Cause once this comes out for everybody to read, you have exposed yourself. Which means anything can come your way… or good… or bad, or indifferent. And so, I definitely, uhm, just really rehearse that over and over in my head. However my ideal reader, my cause, the reason why I did it, the service aspect of it, always came back into play. It always came repurposed and said, “This is why you’re doing it, not because of anything that may happen afterwards,” and that’s what really kept me going. I really need it to… have a story, which was so many people’s story… and really have that connection with the readers.
Angela:
Love that. What are some of the best things that have come out of having your own book?
Candice:
Ah, some of the best things – speaking engagements… I really love speaking and talking to people, uhm, about their stories and how to get over, uhm, some of the challenges that we’ve been having. Uhm, also I’d been on numerous radio shows, uhm, released, so it’s definitely been a great ride. Hah, it’s definitely a great ride, for sure.
Angela:
Uh, have you… I know your book’s been written for people without dads. Have there been other people who have found your book who may be- have a slightly different situation but still connected with the book?
Candice:
I’ve had people who actually grew up with both parents, and, uh, maybe the dad didn’t treat them as well as they could have. I’ve also had people who, you know, are missing a mother, who’re, you know, in the foster care system, so, it’s a way- it’s a range of people that actually have read the book, for sure. And I think the ending journey, the ending healing process is all the same for all the people. So, that’s why I think the book is most effective, because it’s not just about the details of what my story is – It really speaks to a lot of different situations within a lot of people.
Angela:
So, what are, uh… What are some of the, uhm… What are some of the things that people who have read the book have said to you about it, uhm, hopefully some of the nice things, uhm… But what are some of the things that people have said to you about how the book has affected them?
Candice:
So I was recently at my high school, doing a speaking engagement, and a girl came up to me, uhm… my book, and she said, “I can’t believe you wrote this.” You’re… You’re telling my story, and she had only read like the first couple of pages, and so… I mean, I’d do it for those people, because they don’t have… I’m not… confidant, but they don’t… they don’t talk about what they’re goin’ through. They just go through it and they just keep it in, and so, I… I say what’s real and I say what has happened and am honest enough, and so, I think I’m just giving a voice to the voiceless. I’ve had people say that, you know, “I’ve been waiting to- for somebody to say this; I’ve been waiting for somebody to talk about this epidemic. Uhm, I’ve had another woman who recently said, “I heard someone talking about this book at my job. I gotta get this book… picture of you. You know, it’s just various aspects of that that’s so great, because you’re like, “What?!” You know, “What?! They- You’re talking about my book? But it’s so awesome because people are really getting the message, and the message is actually being effective, because if it wasn’t, you will never hear or people will never tell you those types of comments, and so, it’s just awesome- the reward that’s happened, and…
Angela:
So… Yeah, I wanna talk about you as a person. Obviously, you are very accomplished even without the book, but is there a way that you feel like you’ve changed now that you have this accomplishment. Do you think there’s a way you show up differently in your own life?
Candice:
Yes, definitely. I think… I sure have more confidence. I actually presented at my job, recently, my book, and I was really kind of scared to do that. Are they… or did not know that I was an accomplished author? And I presented there and got raving reviews and I think I show up really more confident, ready to see into my truth and be honest and really unapologetic- and unapologetic, meaning that… I’m not gonna apologize for what I went through, if people do not like it, or don’t like the fact that I had exposed it, or told the truth, then that is really something that they will have to deal with personally. But, I’m okay with what I’ve done and what I’ve revealed in… I was okay when I put the book out and I’m okay now. So, uhm, I think those are the true things that have definitely changed in my life.
Angela:
So… what… what about that? This is a very personal story. Did you have to go through, uhm, your own process of being willing to share this story? With that- Were you worried that readers might judge you or your other members of your family might think you, I don’t know, told the story inaccurately… I know telling a personal story is especially vulnerable.
Candice:
Yeah, I definitely worried, because some of the things in the book, I didn’t even tell my, uhm, mother. And so, my mother actually… Uhm, she didn’t uhm… She didn’t get the full story of the book. She… before it came out. But she did not know… It’s not like she knew… or anything like that… So, some of those things that I reveal in there are very private and, and they were- they were exposed, and I knew that I can get family backlash. I mean it, it- because I’m exposing my family and this is what happened. Uhm, but I was okay with that and I wasn’t rude about it. They knew I was gonna write a book, they got to read it in advance. If there was anything inaccurate about the book that they thought was inaccurate, they could definitely tell me, then we could have that conversation. However, I didn’t have those conversations with anyone because the truth was the truth. So, everything that came out in the book, I mean, they write it, prior to. But I think- I think you always will have a… A personal book like that, you definitely always have on the back of my mind- your mind, you know… what… what you… others, uh, other people would think. But I think at the end of the day, as long as you’re comfortable standing in your truth, you don’t have to apologize for telling the truth.
Angela:
Mmm, love that. Love that. How has your relationship with dad, uh, changed or supported you during this book process?
Candice:
[takes a deep breath] Uhm, I think it’s become greater and I think it’s really given me more compassion and a heart for these fatherless daughters because I’ve been through it, I’ve been through the pain, I’ve been through the depression, and I’ve gotten through the other side. What I really want to do is help these women get to the other side also. So I wanna get back in the race with them and say, “I’ll partner with you, let’s… let’s… I’ll coach you, I’ll mentor you, and let’s run across this finish line, I’ll come back to get you. You know, it’s like that one right… across the finish line that goes back to get the other person that might be injured or limping, or sick, or whatever the case may be, just to make sure that they finish? I wanna be that person to make sure that they finish. And so, it’s just caused me to have a more of a compassionate high and to really talk to various churches and have conversations about what’s going on whether it’s outside or inside the church. And so, this is the same epidemic worldwide. So, I think it’s just exposes a lot more as far as what the opportunities are for hurt people to heal and also just to force me on what my mission is.
Angela:
Mmm, love that. What advice would you have to somebody who wants to write a book, but they haven’t been able to finish it?
Candice:
I would say, get to a place, a space, where you can just focus on it nd write the book. I’ve had so many people ask me about writing the book, and all these people say, you know, “I wanna write,” but, you really don’t wanna write a book because if you wanted to write a book, you would’ve done it by now. [laughs] If you wanna write a book, you need to take the time to write and focus on it. Everything that you want to say, you have within you. So, I say, take time, focus on it, whatever the case may be… If you have to take off for a coupla days, then do so. But I would say, focus on what you need to say – put it on paper. It doesn’t have to be a hundred percent perfect. That’s why there’s an editor, and development editor and a copy and ed- copywriter-editor. They’re there to help you. But I think your words- You just need to put them down on paper. Make sure that it happens.
Angela:
Mmm. So if people wanna learn more about you and your what should they do? Where should they go?
Candice:
They should definitely visit invisibledadjourney.com for sure. Also on Facebook, uhm, Candice the Journeyist, and on Instagram, Candice the Journeyist.
Angela:
Candice the Journeyist. So, Candice Ragland is the author of Invisible Dad. You can get her book right now on Amazon. You can also check her out invisibledadjourney.com. Candice, thank you so much for being our guest today.
Candice:
Thank you very much.
Angela:
So, we have some exciting stuff cooking over here at TheAuthorIncubator. We are about two weeks away from our next launch. So, if you have not seen one of our book launches, now is the time to register. If you head over to TheAuthorIncubator dotcom and sign up for our list, you will get all of the notification about our next book launch. We’re gonna launch fourteen books first time. It’s gonna be one of our biggest book launches ever, and, uhm, you’re gonna get to meet all of the authors at that launch, hear a little bit about their book journey, what’d gotten them from an idea to launching their book in 90 days or less. I really hope you can join us for that. Uhm, we also have a bunch of new super-fun stuff coming out this summer. Uhm, we’re gonna a webinar series, where we’re gonna get into some of the nitty-gritty techniques that I teach authors like Candice who work with us for the whole process. I’m gonna make that available to everyone, uhm, even people who are publishing with other publishers or publishing on their own. Uhm, so we have a great summer series coming up. I’m gonna be sharing more about that at our launch in June. So, definitely head over to TheAuthorIncubator dotcom, get on our list, so that we can help you get your book done. We believe here at TheAuthorIncubator in changing the world one book at a time. Thanks for joining us.