Can it Be Easier?

Being “difficult” was the central failure in my life and one I had the most trouble forgiving myself for.

My amazing co-parent and partner in crime, Mila, is one of those people. She’s smart (but never feels the need to show it). Beautiful (but never stuck up). And wildly uncomplicated.

Today is her birthday and I’ve been brimming with gratitude for my life with her all day.

Having a deep and long-term relationship has allowed me to see and love parts of myself I might not otherwise have been brave enough to call into my consciousness. My friend and fellow coach Mike Hrostoski believes it’s in relationships that our deepest personal growth happens. I think he might be right about that.

One of the greatest things I have learned from Mila is that being complicated, controversial, and sometimes even combative is what comes easy for me. And the trick to happiness for our family is to drop the story that those things are bad. We all just do what’s easy for us, we embrace what comes naturally and this seems to keep us in the flow most of the time.

I’d always thought what would make my life easy was going to require hard, painstaking work changing and fixing myself, but it’s kind of the opposite. By just being me without forcing myself to try to hide, I’ve stepped into a family life that is so unlike what I ever expected but so amazingly easy.

Growing up, my home life was a careful walk across a sea of eggshells. Today, it’s like walking on … well … hard wood floors and throw rugs. Easy.

I did that. I created a family filled with fun and harmony and freedom. I’m looking forward to the holidays instead of dreading them like I did when I was a kid. And tonight, I’m looking forward to a family dinner to celebrate Mila’s birthday.

What have you created that you might not have thought possible?