Why I Love to Journal
10 years ago I wrote these goals for my body in my journal:
– Be able to shave my legs
– Be able to lay on my back
– Be able to cross my legs
– Fit comfortably in normal seats
– Shop in normal store (eg on vacation, forget shirt, can get one)
– Easy to sit Indian style (uh, I’d say criss cross now)
– Easy to get up from sitting on floor or laying down
– Be able to wear clothes that better match my personality
It went on and on for 3 pages… I got VERY specific.
When I wrote these they felt impossible…. wildly impossible. Today, I have an active gratitude process to remember how long and hard this struggle was for me, because if I didn’t, I’d take it all for granted.
It’s easy to forget how much you have accomplished. We get used to the air we breath and lose sight of how much we have evolved.
Look at everything you have accomplished in the last 10 years without judging yourself for all the ways you haven’t measured up to your own standards.
Our brains are like heat-seeking missiles for all the ways we suck. To change that takes cultivation and an active practice of awareness and appreciation.
I *could* focus on my self-doubt. God knows I have plenty of it! My brain naturally wants to take me there – after all I had 35 years of hard-core training in the fine art of self-loathing! But I don’t. I actively override my focus to gratitude.
My friend Chris Winfield says “You’re doing better than you think.” And he probably is right. Because we don’t practice giving ourselves enough credit.
This is why I love journaling so much. I can always look back and see how far I’ve come instead of all the ways I’ve failed.
There is some magic that evolves from this practice. The magic of building trust with yourself that you will set wildly impossible goals and then follow through and make them happen. Noticing what goals and dreams you have achieved will make achieving your current ones significantly easier.
Tonight, I’m writing this post while laying on my back, legs freshly shaved, wearing cute pajamas that match my personality in size medium. It might not seem like a very big goal – to lay down – but man, when I wrote that I couldn’t think of a dream much bigger.
So tonight, here’s to the girl who wrote that journal entry – who was brave enough to keep wanting more even though it would have been easier to settle – who took the time to get so specific about why it would be worth it to lose weight – who tried life coaching exercises that made her uncomfortable- who showed up for herself….even though it was hard.
And here’s to me now – still setting wilder and more impossible goals, because I know co-creation with Source means everything is not only possible – everything I ever want is always already mine. I just have to show up.