The Dog Died…January 26, 2017
It is insane to me how many entitled entrepreneurs I have spoken to in the last 2 months truly believe because they work a lot of hours and make a lot of investments in their business that they deserve success to come. Hate me if you want, but at least I’m giving it to you straight – You have the EXACT amount of success you deserve.
You’ve had opportunity after opportunity to be successful knock on your door, scream in your ear, and you were too fucking preoccupied with some bullshit drama to hear it.
When I ran myself over with my own car a couple weeks ago, there was a woman who watched the whole thing and I don’t even think she knows she did. She was so busy worrying about whether her dog was barking at someone she kept calling the dog instead of responding to my blood curling screams.
The bullshit of a barking dog in front of her distracted her from the big picture of a car running someone over in her line of sight.
I actually heard her dog died right after my accident. (Karma is a bitch, huh?)
I, on the other hand, continue to recover nicely thank you very much.
And now I am taking no prisoners. It’s clean up your email list day and if it’s too hot in this kitchen I’m going to invite you to find the unsubscribe button because I’m not holding anything back anymore.
This is the message no one is telling you that you need to hear.
*** YOU DESERVE YOUR FAILURE ***
You earned every bit of it. Making some doe-eyed Vision Board does not make you more deserving of that outcome.
You can’t deserve your success if you don’t deserve your failure. You have to own all of it – 100% – NO EXCUSES.
And here’s what I want to say – Just be proud of it. Stop blaming your asshole boss, or the stupid system, or Donald Trump, or your narcissistic ex, or the lady across the street with the barking dog and take 100% responsibility for your fuck ups.
You can choose to make yourself a victim of the circumstance or you can choose to make yourself the hero.
So that lady didn’t save me. Whatever, I kept screaming and eventually my husband did. I made the mess. I deal with the consequences. I celebrate the victories. I am as proud of my failures as I am of my successes. I choose my failures and I choose my wins. RELENTLESSLY. THIS IS THE WORK THAT LEADS TO SUCCESS.
Just because you sign up to work with a coach, or you make a big investment in your business – that is not enough – that’s a part of it, but it’s only a part. You have to insist on your own success. You have to do the work! There is outer work and inner work and you have to embrace all of it. You have to take massive action. You have to do the work. You have to show up for yourself. You have to work on your mindset morning, noon and night — especially when you think you “deserve” a break. You don’t deserve ANYTHING. You don’t hire people to save you or do the work for you. You hire people to guide you and speed up your inevitable success. But the responsibility for failure or success will always be exclusively yours.
There is no way I could be in integrity and say I didn’t fail – of course I do – I ran my own damn self over, right? – I fail all the time. I fail a LOT more than you do I bet. And I am proud of my failures because I am willing to fail fast and hard and learn from each and every one.
You’re not – you want to lament your failures or blame other people for your failures – you want to complain about divine timing, or the universe, or a bad business partner, or a business coach who over promised and under delivered, or maybe you want to blame yourself – your health your intelligence, your commitment. But what you don’t want to do is this:
*** BE MOTHER FUCKING PROUD OF YOUR FAILURES. ***
Don’t hide from them – but scream them from the mountain tops just like the victories. Own ALL of it. Be 100% accountable. When you take credit for your success but not your failure you are cutting yourself off from the truth. There are lessons and blessings from wins and losses that will take you to the next rung on your journey.
You know how I know life keeps getting better? Because I decided it does. When you decide your problems and successes are all 100% your own and take 100% accountability, you realize the truth – the person in control of your destiny, is now, and has always been – you. I know all of you love the concept that “YOU ARE ENOUGH” but that is bullshit when it comes to business.
You are the result of your thoughts. So how do guaranteed success? You decide in advance to be successful. Yes, it really is that simple.
✔️ You choose the right people to guide you and to invest in yourself.
✔️ You take action and execute even when it’s uncomfortable – maybe especially when it’s uncomfortable
✔️ You show up for your future clients every day – with more integrity than you expect from them – meaning you pay your bills first, you honor your contracts first, you respect your relationships first – you ALWAYS go first. Your clients will always be a couple steps behind you.
✔️ You own your successes and failures and to constantly iterate and optimize
✔️ You recoup every investment you ever make – my rule is I get a 10x return on all my investments
If you ever do decide to step up and work with me, here are the rules – and I’ll hold you to them:
❌ No being “confused”
❌ No indulging in your reasons for failure
❌ No excuses for missing deadlines
❌ No feeling sorry for yourself
❌ No blaming others when you don’t show up
❌ No wishing, hoping and dreaming without action
❌ No asking people to do things you aren’t willing to do
❌ No hiding
❌ No staying in your comfort zone for a pay off you don’t even believe in
Instead, you will:
✔️ INVEST in yourself
✔️ Take massive (uncomfortable) action
✔️ Show up. Be seen. Take risks. Mess up.
✔️ If it doesn’t work- regroup and try again
✔️ Make decisions, and make them fast
✔️ If you don’t know something, be the person who figured it out not the one who is “figuring it out”
✔️ Act with integrity
✔️ Be grateful for all of it
I know it’s not politically-correct to share this perspective so if it’s the end of the road for us. I get that, and I wish you the best of luck doing it your way.
But if something in your soul made you read to the end of this email and part of you is thinking “Wow, Angela has really got my number.” We may have a soul contract to work together.
What I have found consistently is that the nice, kind, gentle, easy path works for some people. I wish I was one of them. For me, and I’m on the spectrum so maybe that’s part of it, but I needed very direct straight-talk from someone as smart or smarter than me in order to stop resisting and grow.
If that sounds like you (and there is a book in your heart), click here to apply.