Book Journeys Author Interview – September 29, 2016
Jenn McRobbie with Rachael Maddox, author of Secret Bad Girl: A Trauma Resolution Memoir and Guide
“I stand for freeing women and girls worldwide from exploitation, repression, and violation. I can own that now, and people understand why” ~Rachael Maddox
Jenn:
Welcome to BookJourneys Radio. If you’re a regular listener, you might notice that my voice sounds different and that’s because I’m not Dr. Angela Lauria. Thi is Jenn McRobbie and I’m Vice President of The Author Incubator. Angela’s handed over the helm of the show to me to help further our goal for all you listeners to learn from authors who were able to go from idea to finished book and are now making a difference in the world. So, while I get to have fun conversations with authors who’ve made that journey to publish a book, Angela’s going to spend more time doing what she loves, which is working with budding writers who will soon be like our guest today, bestselling author, Rachael Maddox. Rachael is the author of Secret Bad Girl: A Trauma Resolution Memoir and Guide. So Rachael, welcome to the show.
Rachael:
Hi, I’m so glad to be here.
Jenn:
Oh, so happy to have you here. And just to get things started, can you please tell people what Secret Bad Girl is about and who it’s for?
Rachael:
Totally. Well, as you’ve said, Secret Bad Girl is a sexual trauma memoir and resolution guide. So, it’s about my life living under a – what I call – a trauma spell, and how I discovered I wasn’t just “bad” because it’s a bad thing that’s happened to me, but in fact, I had trauma. And then, also, how I went about discovering that I had trauma and learning how trauma dissolves, taking that journey on, and becoming a trauma resolution practitioner.
Jenn:
Wow, what a journey you’ve got, You know it sounds like a really intense and vulnerable book. So, did you have trouble kind of connecting to those secret parts of yourself while you were writing it?
Rachael:
Well, I don’t know if I had trouble connecting with the secret parts of myself while I was writing it; the actual process of writing felt pretty natural to me. Writing is something that’s sort of a strong suit of mine, if you will, and storytelling as well but hitting send to the editor was definitely – definitely like full-body freak out for a good 24 hours and then… weeks and weeks and weeks, and maybe even months after. [chuckles]
Jenn:
Wow, really. So it lasted for a very long, long time.
Rachael:
Yeah.
Jenn:
What was it about sending it to the editor that was so scary?
Rachael:
Just knowing that my story, which I’ve shared more privately with different people was now going to be like completely public. Anybody could read it, and… Everybody could read it and lots of people do, including my grandmother, you know, people I don’t necessarily want to read it. Uhm, but they notice something that people are afraid of when thinking about writing a book on a vulnerable topic. So…
Jenn:
Yes, exactly. So how do you get over that then, or, do you still suffer from fear sometimes, when, you know, someone new is reading your book?
Rachael:
Uhm, well… of how I got over it and that was just – I knew that the prize of having people understand what trauma is and how it takes hold of the body and how it resolves physiologically, as opposed to psychologically, was gonna be worth it, and that there were thousands and thousands of people that I needed to reach and that that was more important than my own discomfort or than my family members’ discomfort, or whatever. The call was bigger than the discomfort.
Jenn:
Wow, and how long ago did you publish?
Rachael:
I published in January of this year, 2016.
Jenn:
Alright! You know, we’re now – we’re now, you know, a big portion into the year. Do you find that all of the things that you feared – did any of them come to fruition or was it more just all in your own head?
Rachael:
Uhm, probably some of those, you know, and, but, the things which came to fruition, are just the next layer of healing for myself and for my family, and so, they’re not things that I regret, you know. It’s like, it’s all for the greater good. Uhm, but a lot of things… a lot of fears of, maybe being kinda stigmatized, it’s like, the trauma girl or this or that. The fear is like… They’re part true; they have wisdom in them, but then they’re also just your opportunity for transformation. So for me, like, to be able to grow into the next iteration of myself, even further, and to say, you know, “I stand for, uhm, freeing women and girls worldwide, from, you know, exploitation, repression, and violation.” I’m like, “I can own that now,” and people understand why, and so, it’s just like it’s worth it. It’s just worth it.
Jenn:
That’s amazing. Yeah, I just got chills on from you saying it, so I know how deeply that means, you know, how much that means to you. Uhm, so writing such a personal topic and then having to share it with other people. How did you – how did you get your book done? How did you finish it and get through all of that – that tremendous amount of emotion?
Rachael:
Well, I actually did a 3 Days to Done event with Angela at the author… which was like amazing… uhm…
Jenn:
Wow, so you wrote the bulk in three days.
Rachael:
Yes.
Jenn:
Wow.
Rachael:
Yeah. And surprisingly, I mean I feel like that, for me, it was easier than sitting and taking a very long time to write this book, especially like the topic was so vulnerable, that just to allow it, like this sacred container that was short and kind of a doable feat…
Jenn:
Right.
Rachael:
…uh, was definitely helpful.
Jenn:
So you wrote the bulk of the book in three days and then the editorial process begins, right?
Rachael:
Exactly.
Jenn:
And which was harder? The editing process or the writing process?
Rachael:
I think for me, it was probably the editing process. You know, that’s where I had all that space and time for my fears to kind of play, creep in and to feel like this is the stupedest book ever, like, “Oh my God. This is gonna make me wanna kill myself, like this is – why would I ever – took this out in the world – those kinds of things, you know. So having more time to kinda sit with all my fears and insecurities, you know, opinions of inadequacy and all this crap was definitely probably more challenging and then also your… like reading your book, like fifteen times or whatever you do to sort of like, get it done – get it great.
Jenn:
Did you find that you lost touch with the content at all, just with sort of the repeated readings or anything like that or was it still fresh everytime?
Rachael:
I think that yeah, you do lose a little bit of touch. You know, it’s funny, ’cause even now, I go back and I open my book – you know I got all these printed books and I mail them out to people like clients and whomever, uhm, and I go back and I think and just opening to a page and I just read a little bit, and I’d think, “Wow, this is a lot better than I thought it was,” or like, you know, “It’s well. It’s pretty… It’s pretty good. I like that. It’s nice.”
Jenn:
Right. I love that.
Rachael:
So, now on the other side, I felt a lot more at ease around sort of feeling part of myself.
Jenn:
Aaah, that’s wonderful. That’s so great. So, well… So far we’ve now have been… several months under your belt. What’s the best thing to have come out of having your own book?
Rachael:
Well, lots of the things have come, but I will just say first that I’ve gotten, like, so many emails from people telling me that my book literally changed their lives, like women and men who have been stuck under an invisible trauma spell, like didn’t know that they had physiological trauma – just thought that they were fucked up – read this book, and they’re like – or the people who have read about trauma before but never – with so many stories and from such a personalized, uhm approach – that they read it and they’re like, “Oh my God, this is me. Thank you so much,” like, thank you for being so honest. Thank you for, you know, telling it so plainly, like, you’ve just changed my life. So that’s obviously amazing to hear, uh, and they sit, all, with it.
Jenn:
Clearly.
Rachael:
And then also… Yeah, clearly… and then also I’ve gotten a lot of amazing business opportunities from clients, to, like being invited on to big podcasts, to being able to, like, come go about in a book tour and have workshops all around the United States. So, it’s definitely lent me credibility in my field. It’s given me specialization; my income has like tripled or more, you know. It’s just, like, this was definitely a catapult into the next iteration of my life, for sure.
Jenn:
Do you think you could have done all of those things without a book?
Rachael:
Uhm, maybe… eventually… but probably not. No.
Jenn:
[chuckles] So what is it about the book that you think has helped catapult you into this next stage in your life?
Rachael:
To me… writing a book – that’s truly about making a difference or whatever – it gives you… I mean it gives you credibility first of all but it also… It tells the world like, oh this girl’s serious. Like she took all of the time, energy, money, whatever, and invested it in completing something that could be out in the world in a bigger way. Uhm, it turns people’s heads towards you, and, also like the actual contents, for me… I was… This content deserved more than blog posts, you know, like it’s too sacred. My – this story, my story is too sacred to share just like, on the Internet. No. It’s… to see it as a book. It’s found it’s way home.
Jenn:
You needed some permanence right?
Rachael:
Yeah.
Jenn:
So you said it’s found its way home. I love that Rachael. Your story found it’s way home. That’s really sweet. You know, you’ve mentioned a couple of times, uhm, finances, and that is actually something in which you are fairly unique amongst authors because when you first came to the Author Incubator, uhm, I believe you did not have many pennies to your name. Is that correct?
Rachael:
Correct.
Jenn:
Yeah. So… How did you go about the… being able to fund and finance writing and publishing your book?
Rachael:
I did a Kickstarter basically. Uhm…
Jenn:
Wow.
Rachael:
But actually, before that… So, it was a fun little story that I’ll just tell very briefly, which was that… My friend, Jen… I’d been on a mission to create something that spoke to what trauma is and how it’s resolved. I was going to make it to a multimedia guide. So… getting off the Internet and focusing, like, no social media… I’m gonna be really focused for the whole month that I was gonna do this thing, and I did, and I was working away writing, researching, whatever. And one day, my friend Gem… webinar… took me to Angela’s… one of Angela’s webinars – and I listened to and and she was interviewing one of her authors and there was going to be an event the next day at the Author Castle and I texted Jen… “Do you have this woman’s phone number?” and she was like. “Yeah.” I called her and because Jen and Angela were good friends; because Angela and I had a lot of mutual, like friends, acquaintances, co-workers, Angela took the time of day to speak to me and I told her what I wanted to do and she said, actually, we had someone cancel and we have a spot at this event, but you’re gonna have to get me this amount which everyone else has paid in order to come to this event – 5k…
Jenn:
Right… Oh, my goodness.
Rachael:
…and I had six hundred dollars in my bank account and the amount was, you know, way way way more than that.
Jenn:
The amount was more than $600 obviously.
Rachael:
Pretty much.
Jenn:
But I was like… I listened to this, you know, interview webinar thing and I wa like, I could try to do this alone and probably be marginally successful, or I could do this with somebody who’s a professional at succeeding at this and reach way more people and have a greater impact and my mission and my devotion were so important to me that I was like, alright, I’ll just… I was just like, I was gonna do whatever it takes to get there. So, for the first time in my life, I called everyone I knew who had money, like people who I wasn’t even that close or friends with and I pitched them my book that had not been written yet and I said, I need to borrow money and I got enough money in like 6 hours.
Jenn:
Wow.
Rachael:
I literally called probably 30 people. I had… My adrenaline was on ultra.
Jenn:
I mean, on freak, yeah. [chuckles]
Rachael:
Yeah. I borrowed enough money to be able to do the 3 Days to Done vent.
Jenn:
Wow.
Rachael:
So, that was number one. Number two was writing this book in 3 days. That was like completely terrifying to write. Number 2. Done.
Jenn:
[chuckles] Done. Look at you.
Rachael:
Then… I gotta pay all these people back, so I’m not gonna rely just on, you know, I’m not gonna bank on sales from my services from the book, although, I did come through to a large extent. Slowly in the beginning; now like, definitely. But… I’m gonna do a Kickstarter It’ll help me promote the book. It’ll guarantee that I can pay everyone back, like pretty much immediately, and so, during the process of editing my book, I’d also… ran a ten thousand dollar Kickstarter, and it was also over the holidays – over Christmas.
Jenn:
So that might have something to do with the emotional fallout of having to submit all of this vulnerable stuff to the world, right?
Rachael:
Yes, yes. Yeah, like I didn’t plan it. Like this wasn’t something I was, you know, really preparing or planning to do. It was something that… Like the door opened and it was a moment and I just knew how to walk through it. So there was a little shock value in that alone.
Jenn:
Right, and do you think though that that helped you sort of keep your energy up because that’s a lot – into the holidays and a Kickstarter and editing this, like, this super vulnerable book. Like, it’s… Do you think… So were some of the reasons you were successful at that was because you didn’t have time to worry about all the other stuff?
Rachael:
Yeah, probably. I’m sure that the urgency, like made it a little bit more successful, although I think that I could’ve been definitely successful without the urgency, you know, if I were, like, advised.
Jenn:
[chuckles] That’s good for people to hear.
Rachael:
Yeah, like, if I were to advise someone else, like… I’m not necessarily… Yes, like, your book is… deserves your attention, and your book, your mission, your calling is ready for you, you know, so don’t wait. But, I don’t think that you have to be under some false premise of, like, do it now or it’ll never happen, for it to happen. I think that’s important.
Jenn:
I do too. It’s such an important message to share, uh, particularly with people who are listening who, you know, have an idea, and then are almost paralyzed to begin.
Rachael:
Mmm hmmm.
Jenn:
You know that – to know, that, to know that really you can just jump just sorta blind-like and be a bestselling author at the end. [chuckles]
Rachael:
Yeah. I think that, you know, I mean… Well actually I’m starting speaking to the other side that… like, yes, you can jump in sort of blind, but there’s also no shame, like, there’s so many messages in our world that are like, you have to do it now or it’ll just run away from you, but… and I just don’t buy that.
Jenn:
Good point.
Rachael:
I think you can wait until your soul is ready, which…
Jenn:
Oh.
Rachael:
You know, you don’t wanna be confused with fear, like, okay… If fear is the thing that’s stopping you, but your soul is baked, then jump in. But if you soul is not baked… If you don’t, you know… and I know it doesn’t have to be fully baked, but if your soul is not at least half-baked on your call and on your mission, like, go have an experience to help clarify things. Like, definitely get into the world, keep going, but, you know. I don’t know, but that’s just my opinion.
Jenn:
No, and I think it’s something valid and important for people to hear. So, what do you think led to your soul being ready for this?
Rachael:
I’d experienced significant healing. Like, you know, I didn’t just write a book about trauma resolution without actually having resolved my trauma. So I’m walking my talk and that’s how I knew I was ready. Not only am I walking my talk, but I had a message that wasn’t being shared enough. So, it was like… I was given some…for me, what was like an answer, you know. For other people, maybe their answer would be much different, but I was given like a path – a solution to something that had been troubling me and, you know, really keeping me down for almost a decade and then I came through and walked that path all the way to the end and I was like, “Alright, I’m a different person and I have something really unique that people don’t know about and so now, I’m ready to share it.”
Jenn:
Now that’s so fantastic. Also, now that you’re on the other side, what was different about writing or publishing a book than you expected?
Rachael:
Hmmm. I think that even though I knew I was on the other side of my healing, I didn’t consider myself an expert. Like I didn’t hold myself with as much… I didn’t give myself much cred as I probably deserved.
Jenn:
Ah haha ahh.
Rachael:
But writing my book and being interviewed everywhere and working with so many more clients now, it’s just like, yeah, I can totally own this, like I’m definitely a trauma resolution, like educator and specialist, like… but I didn’t know that.
Jenn:
Now you can go into your tour really owning that persona, so to speak.
Rachael:
Yeah, yeah. That’s what I’m doing.
Jenn:
I love that. And so, do you like being a published author, then?
Rachael:
Well, of course. [chuckles]
Jenn:
[chuckles] Do you find it comes up in conversations?
Rachael:
No. It’s funny. A lot of people, like tell me like how bad-ass it is that I finished a book… and…
Jenn:
If you publish it, it is totally bad-ass. [chuckles]
Rachael:
It is. I mean it’s totally bad-ass, I mean, how many people have in their life bucket list, or whatever, like, “publish a book”?
Jenn:
Exactly.
Rachael:
The funny thing is, I put it in one of mine, like in 20009, but I just never really thought much of it. I was like, I don’t know why I did that. No idea of what I was excited about, you know, but then, it wasn’t fake, you know?
Jenn:
Aaahhh.
Rachael:
But it was still like the seedling of a call.
Jenn:
Right. Of knowing…
Rachael:
So, yeah, people think I’m a total bad-ass.
Jenn:
So you are a total bad-ass. Speaking of bad-asses, this is a question that I’ve been dying to ask you ever since I saw your book. So, the cover of your book is probably one of my favorite covers ever. Are you the model for the cover of your book?
Rachael:
I am the model for the cover of my book.
Jenn:
Aaahhh, I knew it! [chuckles] I knew it.
Rachael:
I’ll tell you a secret. I’ll tell you a secret. I actually designed that cover on my iPhone. [chuckles]
Jenn:
On your iPhone?! Oh, my goodness. No… Everybody, you need to go, If, you know, if you’re listening to us online, like through the Internet, you’ll see that there’s rotating pictures and you’ll get a picture of the cover of Rachael’s book, but if you’re not listening to us that way, go onto Amazon.com, search “Secret Bad Girl” or Rachael Maddox, and it will come up and you’ll see this amazingly beautiful cover that is just so appropriate for the title. And now hearing that it is actually you just makes it, like, even more perfect [chuckles], Rachael.
Rachael:
[chuckles] Yep.
Jenn:
I love that. So, we’re kind of nearing the end of our time and I wanted you, uhm, to be able to tell people how they can get in touch with you.
Rachael:
Sure. Uhm… my website, rachaelmaddox.com (R-A-C-H-A-E-L). Also, I’m going on this tour. So, if you’re in the D.C. area, Portland, San Francisco, LA, or Southern California and…, I’ll be on a tour there the month of October and a little bit of November and I would love, you know, to meet people in person. I’m actually having free-book parties on Friday nights in each of those places and I workshop on Saturdays, so even if you just went to come and meet somebody who, you know, published her book with Difference Press and chat, you’re welcome to come to the book party on Friday night, then I’d be happy to like, chat and maybe do a little book reading, play a few songs, and talk about the story of how this book kinda was… So, yeah, come on…
Jenn:
Famtastic. Are you gonna be signing books and selling books at the book parties too?
Rachael:
Totally, totally.
Jenn:
Ah, that’s good. So…
Rachael:
And the link to that is tour.rachaelmaddox.com.
Jenn:
tour.rachaelmaddox.com. So that’s where you can go to find out more about your Secret Bad Girl and how she can help you become a successful woman, like Ms. Rachael Maddox here. Rachael, thank you so much for joining me today on Book Journeys Radio. Yeah, this has been wonderful.
Rachael:
Jenn, it was my pleasure…
Jenn:
And again, everybody. That’s… and… So that concludes our Book Journeys Radio for today. Uhm, rachaelmaddox.com. That’s R-A-C-H-A-E-L-M-A-D-D-O-X DOTCOM. I’m where you can find out more about Rachael and tune in again next week when we will speak to another author who has made it to idea to published and is out making a difference in the world.
Rachael:
Whoohooo! Thanks.
Jenn:
Thank you…