Book Journeys Author Interview – Dec. 15, 2016
Jenn McRobbie with Elizabeth Suarez, author of The Art of Getting Everything: How to Negotiate for What You Want and More.
“The things that you want don’t come easy.” ~Elizabeth Suarez
Jenn:
Well, hello, hello, everybody! Today is December 15th, and it’s a big day for the Author Incubator because we just launched eleven new authors into the world. Welcome to Book Journeys Radio, here, we get to speak with accomplished authors who have already launched their book and who have gone on to make a difference in the world. Today’s author is Elizabeth Suarez. She is a speaker, trainer, facilitator and executive coach. She’s the author of The Art of Getting Everything. Welcome, Elizabeth!
Elizabeth:
Welcome, thank you! Thank you for having me.
Jenn:
I’m so glad you could join with me on the show today. So, I don’t know if you remember your launch, but we – we just – like I said earlier, we just launched eleven new people today, do – do – do you remember what that felt like?
Elizabeth:
It felt very great, it was September 1st, of course I remember. It was a one –
Jenn:
Look at that ! September 1st, everyone!
Elizabeth:
Yeah, it was September 1st, and I remember it like it was yesterday, it goes by too quickly, though.
Jenn:
It does, doesn’t it? Well, before we get too far into what you’ve been doing since September 1st, can you please tell the listeners what your book is about and who it’s for?
Elizabeth:
Sure! My book is about how to get everything in life, from a perspective of negotiating correctly. But the main thing here is that there’s three ingredients you have to take into account. We normally – when we’re trying to think about negotiation, many of us are thinking – the first thing we think about is work, career, our profession, and then, after that, we do, “Oh, yeah, we have a balanced life, I also take care of my family.” But the third ingredient we really don’t think of is ourself! And that ingredient, that even males don’t think about it. So, this book is written mainly for the professional individuals that have worked very hard to get to where they’re at from ages 22 and up, and all of a sudden, they’re trying to balance everything and they forget about self. And by forgetting about self, they start just making decisions, and when they’re making decisions, you say, “Well, what about this?” They’re …, “Don’t worry about that, I’ll worry about that when I decide to get married in my thirties.” The thirties run away, “You know what? I – I won’t worry about that, I’ll worry about that in my forties.” And before they know it, they are in their thirties, they are in their forties, they are in their fifties, and then what?
Jenn:
Right.
Elizabeth:
What did you spend your time doing? So, that – that is what my book is all about, it’s basically a take off of different clients that I’ve worked with as an executive coach and also as a mentor, and relay their stories and how they got to where they are right now, by thinking about themselves, and my quo – I always tell this to every client that … – when was the last time you got on – on a plane. What did they tell you when you were buckled up on the plane? “If we lose cabin pressure, a mask is gonna come out of the ceiling. Place your mask first on you, and then you can help your child or anybody next to you.”
Jenn:
Right!
Elizabeth:
‘Cause … you … take care of yourself first.
Jenn:
You know – bu – I think we feel … – just … as a society, that we feel … – getting your job settled, is it taking care of yourself?
Elizabeth:
I – that’s what we think, but many times is – I have had many clients that – they always wanted to be the Vice President of a company. They got there and they’re totally unfulfilled. And … – “But isn’t this what you wanted?” “That’s what I thought I wanted, but you know what? I’m lonelier. You know what? I’m bored!” Or, “You know what? I am not happy.” And that’s where people – we do not take the time to answer difficult questions about, what is it that we want? Is it really just that title?
Jenn:
So true.
Elizabeth:
Is it really just to take care of kids? … I’ve seen a lot, with women – professional women that basically focus on their kids and everything, and their kids get into high school, and all of a sudden the kids are ready to go, and they’re … “I feel an emptiness.” Obviously, they’re gonna feel an emptiness, but they literally become paralyzed, because all they have now is work.
Jenn:
Wow.
Elizabeth:
Yes. So, that doesn’t –
Jenn:
Yep. That doesn’t sound – that doesn’t sound very fulfilling, to just have work, does it?
Elizabeth:
I know, I know. Or just have my family. It’s work and my kids, work and my husband.
Jenn;
Right.
Elizabeth:
Well, you know what? … try to think when you are – if you’re married or you have a spouse or you have a partner and you have kids as well, think about how many Saturdays, once you have been together for so many years, and now the kids are older and everything – how many Saturdays have you sat there, and you go, “Wow, so the kids are doing this, my partner’s doing this, and what am I doing? Oh, cleaning, great.” That – that … – i – it’s … for me, it’s really … for me, about what – what is it you wanna do for yourself, and I’m not saying that you do not have to clean on weekends or whatever, but it’s basically saying, what else do you have in your lives that fulfils you as a person?
Jenn:
Of course. Now, that’s – that’s amazing. And – and I know you’ve been helping people with this idea for many years, but what brought you to wanting to write a book about it?
Elizabeth:
I – it’s interesting, I’ve always thought about writing a book, I started my career in corporate America as an engineer and as an MBA and wha – and went up the ranks and everything, and one day I just woke up and I said, “I just can’t take this anymore.” And I was working for a huge corporation, and they said – and I was tra – I was basically moving across the country, … from the east coast to the w – midwest, back to the east coast, back to the west coast, back to – … I just got to the point that, basically, they said – the company I was – then, it’s … Denver, and I’m still … Denver, Colorado, and the company said, “You know what? We acquire you, so now we need you to move back to Philadelphia,” and I’m – literally look at the individual and said, “No.” But I – “You don’t like Philadelphia? You lived there before.” Said, “No, I’m not moving.” And I still certainly remember walking into my house, looking at my husband and say, “Um – I just walked away from a job, and I don’t have a job, because I don’t wanna move.” And I remember my husband just looking at me and doing, “It’s your strategy?” “… there’s no strategy, I’ll figure this out.” … that was thirteen years ago, thirteen, fourteen years ago, and since then I’ve basically reinvented myself. I became an alternative dispute resolution strategist, and with that field, I became very much of a business coach as well, so, strategies of helping and – … helping organizations and helping individuals facilitate what they want in reaching their goals and their strategies. And then, by doing that, I came to realize that people who are asking the same questions over and over again, because I would do it first for a corporation, and then I would do it individually, no matter the level, if it was an executive level, if it was management level, they’re asking me the same questions, and at the end of the day, came out to the well-roundedness, what they really want. And to know what I want, what is it that I have to negotiate for? So, that’s what this – I just decided I need to write a book, and people kept on saying I need to write a book, and that’s when I came across Author Incubator, and I’m very diligent and very much like an engineer, so it really helped me to join them, and they certainly have a time frame and have a mold that basically pushed me to writing this book, because I have been writing this book for years – …
Jenn:
Right. You’ve been living this book, right, Elizabeth?
Elizabeth:
Y – yeah, but I – even – I … wrote some stuff throughout, … the other day, I came across a journal, I said, “Oh, but this part of the book I wanted to write, and I never did it.”
Jenn:
Oh, wow!
Elizabeth
So, having – yes, so having structure – and I had forgotten about this journal, but so – how we live life, we forget and we get involved in stuff and we forget and basically that’s what happened. And now, that I was sitting – to get on a project, time frame, …, our responsibilities, deadlines, and I won’t lie to you, I complained through the entire time, the entire time. The – there was too harsh, there …, I needed more time.
Jenn:
I love your –
Elizabeth:
I complained, I was never happy the entire sixteen weeks, I was never, never happy, but now that the book is done and now I’m working with my publisher to take it – a print and to take it to bookstores, and it won’t come out until October of 2017, now I just sit back and I do, “Oh, now the fun begins!” So, that’s – that’s what happened.
Jenn:
So, I – I want to just reiterate that, for our listeners who are – who are terrified of doing the work of writing a book, you can complete the book and be successful, even when you complain about it the entire time. Elizabeth is evidence.
Elizabeth:
Yeah, and even if you think you’re not a writer – I still, to this day, say, “I’m not a writer,” and my husband … “You – you wrote a book.” I’m … “Oh, yeah.” … – I … – have this perception that being a writer is the person that sits in the corner of her house or his house and starts just writing and stuff, now, how I wrote this book, it’s … “Okay, on Tuesday, I dedicate three to five, on Monday, I dedicate … 10pm to noo – midnight,” I – I was writing the book after everybody in my household would go to bed. That’s when I wrote my book, … –
Jenn:
I love that.
Elizabeth:
From ten to … one o’clock in the morning, and basically, I have to admit, I did not sleep that much, because I wake up in the morning and do my work, but one day a week, I would just sleep twelve hours and start over again.
Jenn:
So, what writing – … after basically living your life during the day, did you have a hard time focusing?
Elizabeth:
No, because, you know what I did why – and I got – one night, I got ready for this podcast, … “Okay, what got me at ten o’clock at night to open my laptop and start writing?”
Jenn;
Yeah!
Elizabeth:
I actually traveled with – I – I went everywhere with my phone – with my iPhone, and I have a little app that lets you record. So, I would record stuff throughout the day, as I went into a meeting, if I answered e-mails, got whatever, I start that day. I will record it. And then, I would listen back to it and take notes. And I did that every day, that’s how it started at ten o’clock at night, would just take notes, and I would have a piece of paper, but it was also notes I took, so as i went through the process of writing the different chapters, because I had the in-line and what were the questions I was answering, I was … “I don’t know how to answer that question,” I would go back to that document that had no organization, it was just my notes, or my thoughts.
Jenn:
Right!
Elizabeth:
And go through my life, go sixteen weeks of saying, “Oh! Yes, that came to mind.” And then, that would make me remember or think about something I did with a client beforehand, so that’s how I did – that’s my way of doing it, waiting for the 10pm appointment I had with my laptop to write a note, I would have never been …. .. literally, at 10pm, I would just listen – get my earbuds on my phone and I just type up what I – … dictated, and then go and start writing. So, that’s ….
Jenn:
You made it – you made it a bit of a ritual, it sounds like, and … that really worked for you.
Elizabeth:
And the reason I did that is because I’m very much into planning, and I also get distracted easily. I’m not gonna lie to you. I literally have to admit to you, I would get of Facebook and then … Twitter immediately, if I would start writing at 2pm or 10am, but at 10pm, then it’s hard, because the east coast is asleep, which – the majority of the people who follow me are east coast, Denver, they’re starting to … settle down, and I was ignoring California. But basically – and a lot of the people in – in Europe, and also the people … work, waking up, so they weren’t as active on Facebook. So, I realized, from 10pm until … 12:30pm – … am, Mountain time, Facebook will go … quiet, and they were showing nothing on TV, so I couldn’t divert my attention to something else. And everybody in my family was sleeping, including the dogs, and that’s … I got it ….
Jenn:
Yes, it’s so – … it’s so smart, that you worked … within your own parameters like that, I think so many of us try to just shoehorn ourselves into someone else’s plan, … , someone else’s way of writing. And I think … what a lot of people don’t finish their books.
Elizabeth:
And that’s why I appreciate this Author Incubator, because, yeah, they have the formula, but basically, I was able to take the formula and mold it to what I would get to be molded to. So, no, I do not –
Jenn:
Yeah, you – you really can’t – th – tha – that’s an amazing – it’s an amazing tool to have at your disposal.
Elizabeth:
E – exactly, so, I had the very structured approach that I needed, and the deadlines and the calendar and the “you need to do this by this,” and – but then, I basically restructured my life with how I felt I could restructure with the least amount of – … of distractions possible, and it was at 10pm that I have to start and realize I only … five hours and wait until Sunday, when I could sleep twelve hours, and my family knew that, and my family was very good about it, they would not bother me on Sunday and would not wake me up early, they did it … “No.” … Mommy has to … catch up on her sleep, and basically I was going on five hours’ sleep. I can tell you that.
Jenn:
Right! I love, though, that what you – you put into practice what you teach, Elizabeth, because it sounds like what you teach is firm boundaries, then learning how to establish our boundaries. And you set that up with your writing, with yourself, with your family, and lo and behold, you’re now a published author!
Elizabeth:
Yes! But that said, I’m very excited to see next year, when the book comes on right now, in the middle of choosing the covers for the printed copy. ….
Jenn:
Oooh, that’s exciting.
Elizabeth:
Yeah. It is exciting, because the cover I’ve used for the e-book was on for the e-book, but my publisher, Morgan James, basically wants to take it more national, and since I’m a national speaker, … they wor – they’re saying it has to have bold colors, it ha – it’s … assuming it’s gonna go into Barnes and Noble, it can’t be soft, it has to be bold and everything, so, looking at those colors and theme, which one to pick everything, so to – today, I decided I’m gonna put it on Facebook and see who – … get a tally going and see who – what people choose.
Jenn:
Oh, that’s super excited. What was your favorite part, with them? Is this your favorite part, picking up the covers and everything, or was it –
Elizabeth:
Actually, my – my favorite part was, I have to admit it, at the end, when I started reading what I had written. Because it – with the Author Incubator, they’re just … do Chapter One, okay, put it aside, do Chapter Two, put it aside, and everything, so once it was put all together, and then I had to do the major edit and everything, that’s when – that was my favorite part, I was …, “Oh, my God, I got something done!”
Jenn:
… complete crap!
Elizabeth
Exactly! … I have close to a hundred pages of stuff! All my … – my book was done with the intent of somebody getting on a plane in New York City and traveling to L.A. and just reading it on the ride over to L.A.
Jenn:
One sitting.
Elizabeth:
And then, when they get … L.A., get up – one sitting, and when they get off at L.A., they see somebody, … “Hey, I like this book, interesting, go ahead, read it if you want.” That was the intent of my book, so my book is very direct, I’m known for being direct, transparent and simple and to the point, and that’s what this book is all about. Based on real life examples, so I’ve used real life examples, so – that was my favorite part, and then, my now-second favorite part is working with a publisher and actually realizing, “Oh, my God, I’m gonna have something tangible, that when I have people speaking, I can walk in – … deliver a talk ahead of time.”
Jenn:
So exciting.
Elizabeth:
… That’s what I always wanted, and that was up – the picture I had kept in my head when I got frustrated, because even with all the frameworks I developed for myself to write a book, I got frustrated.
Jenn:
Of course!
Elizabeth:
I got frustrated … this is not worth it, I’m not gonna and do it anymore, even though I had already paid for the mon – I’m done. But – no, it’s – that final thing, of getting that …, that would be very exciting for me. … get it in Ap – yeah, I get it in April or May, so I’m looking forward to it.
Jenn:
Oh, super exciting, well, and just to clarify, for those listening, the – Elizabeth wrote her book with the Author Incubator and we published her e-book, and then, she now, through our publishing partner, Morgan James, is going to get her print book in bookstores and in her hands in … October 2017, you said?
Elizabeth:
Yeah, I am targeting October third, which is a Tuesday, to launch it in the Ta – Tattered Cover Bookstore in downtown Denver, Colorado, which is … a very old bookstore, very well known here, and I wanna have a formal launch that night. ….
Jenn:
Oh, that sounds fabulous, so, anyone in or around Denver, or visiting Denver, go to the Tattered Cover on October 3rd, 2017. You already have plans, so you can meet Elizabeth and see the glowing face with – of her and her book.
Elizabeth
Exactly, exactly, y – before that, … I’ll get it up with bo – boxes, so I have some boxes that I can go and do – because i have a couple of speaking engagements coming up in 2017 that I’ll be able to use the book and give out the book or sell the book.
Jenn:
So – … what was different, about writing or publishing a book, than you expected?
Elizabeth:
What’s different is how people look at you and how your clients view you. … I still have the same clients as before, but now I’m an author, so they think … I know more. I think it’s hysterical.
Jenn;
Great.
Elizabeth:
… this week, I just landed back in Denver, yesterday I was in Miami, Florida, I was with a client in the education field, and they have to introduce me to a couple of their vendors, and their introduction, they added – they introduced me before, but this time they added that I was their – their – … their consultant, their strategic consultant, and I was an accomplished author. That i wrote a book about getting everything and figured out how to negotiate for everything, and I just stood there, and I did not expect for them to say that, and I was … “No, that was interesting.”
Jenn:
Yeah!
Elizabeth:
… would have surprised me. … this client, I’ve worked with them for … the past two and a half years, and all of a sudden they view me a little bit different, so ….
Jenn:
Interesting.
Elizabeth:
And then, the other one is, people also view you differently, … in social media and everything, then now I’m starting to get people interested in me being a speaker. So, … strategist right now, that I work with different clients, but my goal is that I wanna be more … maybe sixty percent more speaking, national speaking, and now, because I wrote a book, people are starting to – “Oh, … talk to you, what is it exactly that you do?” … they have known me before, they worked with me before and everything. So, I – all of a sudden, it’s … I … became a doctor from Harvard.
Jenn:
And sixteen weeks is a lot less time than it takes to get your medical degree, I – I’m just offered that up ….
Elizabeth:
Exactly, so that – that’s what I’ve noticed, the difference, that all of a sudden, now I am credible. I have this level of credibility that I did not have before. Even though I think I had it, but now, all of a sudden, it got – … it got extrapolated, it got really … increased, … it got solidified, it solidified my ….
Jenn
It solidi – right, it so – it’s now out there for everyone to consume, instead of you having to basically hustle your – your expertise.
Elizabeth:
Exactly. Exactly, that’s what it is, so I – everybody that’s listening, I recommend for them to just do it. You’re gonna be miserable to the sixteen weeks. I am not gonna lie to you, … some people – some of the people did a launch with me, they actually enjoyed the sixteen weeks. I … ‘cause I was … really, seriously against, but …. But here’s what I like to what the Author Incubator provided, is that they provided the platform, and I did not have to think beyond there. … I knew what was gonna take care – taken care of. I knew the book was gonna get launched. I knew they were gonna put me in front of a publisher that I could choose, … I could have gone with the Author Incubator, I could have gone with Martin James, I went with Martin James just because of some personal reasons, … who I wanted – what I wanted to do with my book.
Jenn:
Right.
Elizabeth:
So, I – … I knew that they – … and everything was falling in place, that’s – Morgan James contact me, now, let’s set up this. Now, they just sent something this week, okay, we need to review all this plan because you need to start doing this in January, so – … it’s … there is a team, that’s what I would tell everybody that’s listening to you. There is the team that will take care of you, because that team wants to make sure you succeed, because if you don’t succeed, they – that’s not gonna be viewed well on that team.
Jenn:
Right! So, what advice would you give, specifically, to someone who is listening right now and thinking to themselves, “I have no desire to be miserable. But I have the desire to have a book at the end of the day.” What kind of advice can you give to them?
Elizabeth
I have to say, … now that – I sound like my mother, but the things – I know. The things that you want don’t come easy. … you have to work for what you want, and the good news about doing this with the Author Incubator is that, yes, you’re gonna work very hard, you are gonna feel the pain. You’re really gonna feel it, at the end, there’s a guarantee of a beautiful product for you. … as a woman that has had the opportunity to be a mother, it’s like childbirth, it’s like a pregnancy. I did not enjoy my pregnancy, … come on, seriously? ….
Jenn:
I mean, really?
Elizabeth:
Yeah! Having that reward at the end, and … – now, my – my daughter’s sixteen years old and seeing what she’s doing, that’s how I … my book. That is … “Wow! This is what I’ve always wanted to do, and now, I’ve got it, I got to do it.”
Jenn:
I love that. I love that. Elizabeth, it has been such a pleasure, speaking to you, and I want our listeners to be able to find you and get in touch with you and make plan to attend your book release party in October, so where can they find you?
Elizabeth:
They can find me first on my website, which is my name, elizabethsuarez.com, or they can go on social media, they can – they can follow me on Twitter, my – my … is elizabethsuarez on Twitter, as well as on Facebook, I have an Elizbeth Suarez fan – fan page there, and also on Instagram, authorelizabeth, so there is all those ways that they can follow me. ….
Jenn:
Plenty of ways to find you, so that they can learn how to negotiate the art of getting everything!
Elizabeth:
Exactly, and the easiest way is just go to my website, elizabethsuarez.com, and from there, you can go directly to my Twitter, Instagram and Facebook page and just follow …. Okay?
Jenn:
Perfect. So, if you’re looking to hire speakers, if you’re looking to find out how to get everything in your life, if you’re looking for a fun party on October third, 2017, go to elizabethsuarez.com. Thank you so much for being on the show.
Elizabeth:
Thank you, have a great holiday season, and happy holidays to everybody who’s listening as well!
Jenn:
Wonderful. You have a great holiday, too! Thanks so much!
Elizabeth:
Thank – you’re welcome, thank you. Bye-bye.