There is no cure for ADHD, per se, but there is freedom from it. Awareness flows through the brain, but thought traps us in it. The secret is simple, dis-identify with thought which pulls you into narrow perspectives where life is experienced entirely through the thinking brain. Simple, right? Well, simple doesn’t always mean easy, and we humans have habits and conditioning that can make things seem obscure and complex. In other words, I use the word simple the same way that the reality TV host introduces his wilderness survival show by saying, “Survival is simple, just don’t die.” It can be analogous to dis-identify with thoughts: simple, don’t think so much. Sounds easy, but there’s some essential unlearning and some new learning to do. In that sense, you can think of me as your wilderness survivalist instructor introducing you to your own abilities, teaching you to survive and thrive in your own inner wilderness. Thriving, rather than just surviving, will of course be entirely up to you.
This little book is about relationships and how ADHD magnifies the fundamental challenge to every relationship – the relationship within each of us, to ourselves. It’s written as a guide to the spouse or partner of someone with ADHD and presents an introduction to first surviving; then thriving. All the while including practical modeling, as the title suggests, of being more aware within. Each chapter concludes with an activity and questions that the reader can bring to their own personal experience.
In intimate relationships, the felt sense of isolation and the tyranny of the ego’s manifestations become, as mentioned, magnified and its effects proceed exponentially. One partner is frequently withdrawn while the other is left feeling helpless as to what they can do. How to Be With His ADHD is a guide to help readers get their own metaphorical “oxygen mask” in place, then begin assisting their spouse.